You can be soft and fierce. Graceful and assertive. “A business leader and an activist.” For a long time I have struggled with the forces within me – to be a leader among men or to follow a set path, to choose a simple life or step into something more complex, to go west and be free or stay east and be committed. There are so many layers to a person; complexities that we possess or have to negotiate in big decisions.
The most important lesson I learned is that you do not have to choose one aspect of who you and ignore others. You are wholly perfect as you are. Like a garden, with tending, you can strengthen the qualities that you love about yourself. You can also raise awareness to those things you do not like as much.
However, things about yourself you do NOT want to accept are there to teach you something. These qualities usually do not go away because these parts of you are apart of you. You might lose track of them for a while, but these things re-emerge throughout our lives (e.g. an anxious nature, impulsivity, lack of emotion, too much emotion, etc.)
You need to cultivate awareness about who you are on your journey to finding a calling (profession, relationship, life change). Making a life change that leads to greater fulfillment can be scary. You must be comfortable with all of yourself to understand why you are drawn to certain paths or certain people over others. Lastly, loving another person becomes easier when we love ourselves deeply enough to recognize and accept our dualities.